IDK what got into me. I just woke-up, snapped, and started to speed-type this on Monday morning (I was still half asleep, in a dreamlike state, when I wrote this that I had to look up “consideration” in the dictionary because I forgot what the Indonesian word for it is—so I’d say this is part of my honest subconscious). Didn’t even have this set-up in my social media planner. It felt urgent. Though I did some paragraphs before finally making it public Tuesday though. I nearly titled it “Mia KZL: Manifesto Harga Diri” after ‘A Virgin’s Manifesto‘ from “Cruel Intentions” but decided against it because it sounded dumb and silly. LOL.

I’m reblogging this here, on my English blog, because it does touch upon film, theatre, acting, and casting. But we warned: It’s mostly not in English (there are untranslatable English bits sprinkled here and there, but running it through Google Translate won’t do since it’s mostly Jakartan slang).

indomia

Sebel. Kadang gw sedih ngelihat orang Indonesia yang nggak punya harga diri.

Gw nggak menyalahkan orang punya colonial hangover (mentalitas inferior akibat bertahun-tahun dijajah) tapi kadang suka kebangetan. Ngelihat orang sini ngekor di belakang WNA (berkulit putih) kayak dayang-dayang. Tour guide bukan, tapi kayak berprofesi tour guide (udah melewati batas ‘ramah’ normal, menjilat lebih tepatnya). Internalised racism dan colonial mentality-nya itu, lho. Kasarnya, mereka punya “mental inlander”. Mau kasihan sama mereka, tapi malah bikin emosi jiwa karena itu bangsa gw sendiri (imbasnya, gw ikut ngerasa terhina dengan sikap menjilat mereka, kan).

Gw nggak membicarakan preferensi dalam kehidupan pribadi, ya (misalnya: kalo gw suka pacaran sama laki-laki asing karena gw berharap mereka nggak akan maksa gw hidup dalam tipikal pasangan “Indonesian Dream” yang sering gw lihat belanja di hypermarket/mall di Jakarta—sedangkan suami impian gw adalah The Constant Gardener, atau karena mereka nggak kayak rata-rata laki-laki WNI yang kalo gw…

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