Important Disclaimer: I do not endorse (or recommend) Komunitas Salihara’s Stanislavski class, please read my post here:

I do not want my name associated with this community in any capacity and wish to distance myself from Komunitas Salihara and the Stanislavski class. This is not an acting class, this was run like a pay-to-play programme misleadingly marketed as a ‘class’, which was run in a disability-unfriendly environment that is not safe for women:


Sexual harassment at Komunitas Salihara (2016)
Sexual harassment at Komunitas Salihara (2016)



Sweet dreams about sweet lessons...
Sweet dreams about sweet lessons…

Of course the government is still giving me (and many other Indonesian creative workers) trouble:

Just when you thought me having to fight for the role of Cordelia so I could have it on my reel was my only problem...
Just when you thought me having to fight for the role of Cordelia so I could have it on my reel was my only problem…

Other happenings this week, include realising how the perks of being married to the King of France can be beneficial when you’ve been made a public enemy in dance acting class:

Seriously, though. Judging by what I’m being judged based on, it’s easy to forget that this is supposed to be an acting class.

No joke, Mother didn’t just “get soft on me”, she… (Wait for it… Wait for it…) Offered to teach me.

Dun, dun, duuuunnn! And the plot thickens.

Isn’t it ironic how I’ve been treated like a thirsty famewhore who wants to be a ‘star’, but here I am suffering over my discomfort about being constantly recorded during rehearsals? It’s a process to be felt and experienced, not for its every single little move to be recorded and photographed. They’re so hung-up on the PR side of it all, even I think it’s OTT… I mean, you’ve seen for yourselves how I’ll go an extra mile [exhibits: ABCD] to promote work I’m involved in and I’m 101% okay with recorded rehearsals every once in a while for promotional purposes, but what real honest performing artist (who would prioritise getting accustomed to living in the skin of her character without having to self-consciously worry about potential employers seeing her in a half-baked performance) would be comfortable with cameras during every single class? Every. Single. Class. Is just a social media status update to them… It’s as ironic as Lady Macbeth in a white dress. FFS.

An actress can’t wholeheartedly help promote a final product unless you give her a chance to properly develop a performance that she feels she can be truly proud of.

The bloopers are a DVD bonus that accompany the polished work, it’s not supposed to be the main course. That’s just common sense.

I’ve never had ambitions to be a prima ballerina even, I have a little penchant for the corps (there’s just that synchronicity of movement in the corps that I really enjoy watching—that’s what fascinates me). Of course I’m drawn to the technique and movements of the prima ballerina like any other human being, but it’s the synchronicity of the corps really fascinates me. Ironically, because I’m so painfully ADHD and I have sucky balance and and poor coordination and terrible motoric skills, I don’t do well with that (even as early as nursery school when I was about 4–5 years old, I couldn’t keep up with any group dancing/workout and if you say “position three!” I’d always get it mixed up with another position—and all the bad memories came back in a flood to haunt me when we did Suzuki method in Week 1 Day 2 because there are numbered positions in that too). I maintain that training to be a member of the corps requires more work than being principle. But maybe that’s because I’m always that annoying dancer who ruins a group dance (except when my group did Spice Girls in middle school, miraculously I didn’t screw that up—perhaps because you’re allowed your own personality). It requires a great deal of concentration to be part of the corps (which is what I prefer anyway, I don’t like the attention).

Like, even when I saw this casting notice for “Eurydice”, my first thought was, “OMG! I so want to play one of the rocks!” Because I just want to tumble about on stage in a ridiculous dark grey bodysuit and earth-toned tights (preferably with moss all over me) saying obnoxious stuff:

One of the original tweets, note that the Sunday auditions have been cancelled now and they're only auditioning on Saturday the 27th!
One of the original tweets, note that the Sunday auditions have been cancelled now and they’re only auditioning on Saturday the 27th!

And God knows what a petulant rock I can be! I’ll make the gods want to kick me. LMAO. Alas, if I wasn’t engaged with class every weekend until mid-April, I would’ve auditioned for one of the rocks… I’m not interested in the role of Eurydice (not that I’m right for female leads anyway).

I really need to get around editing/proofreading that “Macbeth” post (because I need to write about the lesson I learned). I also want to apologise for that bigoted stuff I tweeted about Shakespeare and theatre, but I also want to explain what set me off and I also want to address how I think the novelty of gender-swapping is being used by actors to mask laziness (and plagiarism). How it’s used to create an illusion of being cutting-edge, when it’s just a shortcut to looking that way. And how ‘auditioning’ for a character you seem to have been “born to play” is harder (because you can’t distract people with your gender, and you have to convince people that you’re still adding ‘edge’ to that character even though you’d be a natural choice for that role). Maybe even throw in my cosplaying as an example of how I cosplay male characters and still manage to make it my own. Personally, I would feel a great burden if I were to be cast in a gender-swapped role. The “Macbeth” post was 7,897 words long when I last edited it on February 10, 2016.

Last updated: February 20, 2016 @ 08:34