4. The Anti-Climax


February 19, 2015 Endnote: Please note that this was pre-drafted (and I’m glad it was pre-drafted, because there is no way in hell I would have time for this right now). So, while I may have had touchy, squishy enthusiastic feels about Setlock and whatnot at the time I drafted this post, I can tell you that I feel quite differently and detached to everything acting right now (at the time I thought it’d be a long year because of the Christmas special wait, but now I think I’ve moved on and I’ve kind of grown-out of that scene and I think I can stop watching Sherlock, even… I have a list of films that I kind of want to see, but I’m not pushing myself too hard to make it happen lest I hurt myself in the process—I’ve lost interest in appreciating other actors’ work now too, it seems). I have other plans that have nothing to do with film or television and generally enjoying life. And I’m excited about my office jobs right now, which is what I have to look forward to, and I’ll stick to that. I’m starting to get comfortable and silly excited with the whole UNCLOS-related stuff too:

I hope I won’t necessarily regret pursuing acting in the long run, when I finally realise what life lesson I’m supposed to learn from all this—although I am getting teary-eyed right now (ha, I really will never recover, will I? Hm) that I never got a chance to redeem myself from my shitty first role (and I do really still feel regretful that it all had to happen, right now I wish I never did it). I really earnestly thought I was going to make up for it in my third role. I auditioned hard to make-up for it, but now I can’t even bring myself to audition anymore. I guess I’ll just have to live with it.